FAMILY ISSUES (1D-2)

Roles and Responsibilities

Handout

Responsibility: What does this mean?

The first thing it means is don't run out on your responsibilities. If you make a girl pregnant, that's child your child, too. You should stick around no matter what and do everything you possibly can to make sure that your baby gets cared for.

You have to start taking care of a baby before it's born. There are a number of things a pregnant woman should do and shouldn't do in order to have a healthy baby. You can't force the woman to take care of your unborn baby, but you can help and you can encourage.

A pregnant woman has to have enough good, well-balanced food. She should have plenty of green vegetables.

Smoking cigarettes is a bad idea. Babies born to women who smoke aren't as healthy as babiesborn to women who don't smoke.

Drinking is much worse. A pregnant woman should stay away from alcohol.

The same goes for other drugs. Anything a pregnant woman takes into her body, anything she eats, any drug she takes affects your baby, too. Did you know that if a mother is addicted to drugs, her baby can be born an addict? That baby will be very sick for a long time.

A pregnant woman has to be careful even about drugs the doctor gives her. She shouidn't take anything unless the doctor knows that she's pregnant.

Drugs can cause all kinds of problems for the baby. The baby might be born deformed.

What can you do? You can't force her but you can stay clean yourself. You can't tell somebody not to drink if you're sitting there with a beer in your hand. You can, for sure, not offer drugs or alcohol to a pregnant woman and not pressure her into partying. Don't take drugs or alcohol into her house. You can try to see that she's getting food and rest.

If you can, you should be there when the baby's born. These days a lot of men are right there in the delivery room helping. They attend classes with their partner before the child's birth to learn how to help.

You should hold your baby as soon as you are allowed to. A good father welcomes his child into the world. Scientists have proven that holding your baby is very important in how both of you will feel about each other for the rest of your live.

A good father takes care of his kids. He does what he can to make sure that they're fed and clothed and have a place to live.

When I say that you should do what you can to take care of your kids, I mean just that. You may be out of a job and not have any money, but you can still see your kids and still help in other ways. If you don't have any money, how can you help take care df your child?

Children are a 24-hour responsibility. It's hard to explain what that means. Young parents have usually never had a 24-hour responsibility until they bring their first baby home. It's a big shock.

Babies need care just about all the time. They can't do anything for themselves. It's up to the adults to feed them, bathe them, dress them, to do everything for them.

It's a lot of work and it's about 3 years before a child is able to begin to take care of himself at all.

The first few months with a new baby are rough. New babies don't sleep through the night. When the baby wakes up at 3:00 in the morning crying, you have to get up and fed and change him. You can't talk to him and tell him it isn't right to wake you up. You can't ignore him and hope he'll stop crying. He won't.

You can't get mad at him for taking so much of your time and your partner's time. A lot of men feel jealous of the new baby. Before the baby, your partner took care of you - now she just doesn't have much time or energy left over for you. She's very tired from having the baby and needs your help and support.

Thing is, you're an adult and you can go to the refrigerator if you're hungry or take a shower if you want one. The baby is helpless. There's no way for him to understand how hard all this is on you. It's up to you to understand.

Remember:

1. If you get a woman pregnant, you're responsible - don't run out!

2. Encourage your partner not to smoke, drink or take drugs when she's pregnant. Be a    good example by staying clean yourself.

3. Be there to welcome your baby into the world.

4. Do what you can to help your partner care for your baby.

5. If your partner has a baby, she'll have less time to take care of you.